Dukes of Awesome

And Twins! by errantremark

Sabres Twins

Henrik: The embryo did split  in two, but…it didn’t split equally. All the purity and strength went into Tyler.

Derek: All the crap that was left over…

Henrik: Went into what you see in the mirror every morning.

Derek: Whoa. You telling me I’m the crap?

Tyler: This is not true.

Derek: You’re telling me that I am the leftover crap? I’m no good?

Tyler: He’s wrong.
Henrik: Look at him.

Derek: Are you saying that I’m a side effect?

Henrik: You haven’t got the brain power to understand this… but Yes.

(in case you’re too young to get this: source)


Better Know A Draft Pick: Cary Harris by errantremark
April 29, 2009, 4:08 pm
Filed under: Bills Obsession, Buffalo Bills, Defence Mechanisms, draft picks, Rookies

Back when we were posting regularly, the Dukes profiled each some of the Bills 2008 draft picks. So we’re gonna give it another go. Up first: Cary Harris.

Cary Harris

cary harris

Position: CB

Height: 6’0″

Weight: 180

College: USC

Hometown: Pacoima, CA

Why he’s awesome: Projected to go as early as the third round, the Cary Harris pick follows the ultimate fantasy draft rules: pick good players from good teams. And for a slight guy, he’s known as a big hitter with excellent coverage skills.

Why we like him: For a guy with a rep for poor ball skills, he’s come up in big moments for the Trojans, including that above pick in the Rose Bowl this year.

Why we don’t: He’s as durable as a rose petal and held together by strings. He’s missed time for a dislocated shoulder, ankle injuries, had a bad hamstring at the combine (which slowed him to a 4.57 40-time) and had arthroscopic surgery in both ankles prior to the 2008 season.

Tidbit about Pacoima, CA: Oft-battered in his movies Leonardo DiCaprio, tragically dead before his time Ritchie Valens, oft-injured outfielder Gary Matthews Jr. are all from Pacoima. As are the founders of passing fad Juicy Couture, which relates somehow.

Videos that should get you pumped about Harris, provided he holds up:

Better Know A Draft Pick: Ellis Lankster by errantremark

Back when we were posting regularly, the Dukes profiled each some of the Bills 2008 draft picks. So we’re gonna give it another go. Up first: Ellis Lankster.

Ellis Lankster

Ellis Lankster

Position: DB
Height: 5′ 9″
Weight: 191
College: West Virginia
Hometown: Whistler, AL

Why he’s awesome: He used to be fat, but he dropped the weight because he wanted the rock!

Why we like him: This late in the draft, no player is a guarantee, but we always have a soft spot for Bills’ picks from West Virginia.

Why we don’t: He’s got a rap sheet. We hope he’s matured since then, but…well.

Tidbit about Whistler, AL: For a small town, Whistler has a history of good athletes: Baseball Hall of Famer Billy Williams (not Billy Dee, unfortunately), Ravens tackle Willie Anderson….that’s it. But that’s like 15% of Whistler’s population.

Rumor about Lankster that started RIGHT HERE: That arrest mentioned above? Well we have it on no authority that Lankster is totally cool with being an extremely late round draft pick. The man is a business man, pure and simple – as if Stringer Bell and Avon Barksdale were combined in one, compact package with mad ups. True, the Bills have a bunch of defensive backs, and true, you can never have too many. But the Bills aren’t looking for him to play too much – there’s bills to pay.

Image Source

The Curious Case of Fred Jackson by errantremark

So Freddie Jackson is another no-show to Bills voluntary workouts, along with Terrell Owens and Jason Peters.

With TO, you know you’re gonna get a top flight athlete who knows the game, regardless of his off-the-field shenanigans.

With Peters, it’s a situation that we knew about, with him holding out for a new contract or new team, whether he deserves it or not.

Now there’s Fred Jackson, a restricted free agent. The Bills do have the upper hand, owning his rights and the ability to match contracts with any other team. And with a glut of free agent veteran backs out there, there’s a very good chance the Bills won’t have to match one of those offers.

So at face value, the Bills are playing this smart, in line with their usual negotiating style. Eloquently titled “Fuck you negotiations” by realwiley – the Bills always play like they have the upper hand, even if they do not. And with the market and needs (lots of RBs, having a stud back in Lynch), this seems smart.

But the Bills would be smart to simply sign F-Jax to a reasonable contract and get his ass into the fold as quickly as possible:

  1. The looming suspension of Marshawn Lynch: The safe bet is the Bills will be without Marshawn Lynch for at least two games, but possibly as many as four. So it’s understandable that the Bills looked for a veteran backup – Fred Taylor and… Maurice Hicks? I guess if you’re getting a backup-backup, Hicks is a step up from Xavier Omon, but not much. Fred Jackson had almost twice the yards of Hicks’ best season (2005) last year. And F-Jax has been very effective both in support of and in place of Marshawn Lynch. And while there are more experienced replacements out there, they’re also more expensive.
  2. Public Relations to NFL Players: Right now, Buffalo has a reputation of being a team of last resort for many veteran players. All you have to do is look at our free agent signings and losses over the years – Marcus Stroud was considered damaged goods, and it took a lot of money to win his services. Terrell Owens was pretty much out of options. Jason Peters wants out, and so did Pat Williams, Antoine Winfield and more. Mainly because the Bills didn’t want to pony up for proven talent that they developed. Kawika Mitchell was a lone exception – the Bills were insanely lucky to get him (even if his impact has yet to be gauged). I know money plays into this, but being proactive in signing F-Jax – a reliable contributor – could have an impact in how Buffalo is perceived by players.
  3. There’s no one out there better: The current crop of NFL free agent RBs includes Ruben Droughns, Ahman Green, Rudi Johnson, Warrick Dunn and Dominic Rhodes, about the only back that would be intriguing for the Bills would be….I guess Dunn, really. Johnson wants to start full-time, and the others are either old or ineffective now. Dunn is old, but he can still play and probably would take a back seat to Lynch. But that would render F-Jax to 3rd back, when he’s much more than that, and being only 28, gives you more production at a chaper price.

So I just don’t get why the Bills are holding back on F-Jax – we can’t afford valuable contributors to be out of workouts with the regularity the Bills seem to maintain – it sets bad precedent for the current team and any other players we might hope to attract. And it certainly isn’t making Turk, Dick and Perry’s job any easier.

Sorry Trent – Cutler to the Bills makes sense by errantremark

Let me start by saying this: I really like Trent Edwards. I think almost all Bills fans do. He’s smart, he’s accurate, and he’s talented.

But he’s also injury prone. Always has been too – part of that is from playing behind lackluster offensive lines at both Stanford and with the Bills, but, well, he always seems to be dinged pretty good. It’s not that I don’t think he’s tough, but some guys just don’t have the luck. And based on his history, Trent’s talents might be overcome by luck.

Which is why, unfortunately, the Bills should make a grab for Jay Cutler. Yes, MendolaBills fan message boards, FTLT et. al, you’re on to something.

Comparing most (yearly) stats, Cutler is measurably better across the board – more TDs, more passing yards, higher passer rating. You could argue that Edwards has a better win-loss record and better 4th quarter stats – and you’d definitely be correct – but overall, it’s hard to argue with Cutler’s Pro Bowl selection last year, and his ability to absolutely take over games. He also had to make up for absolutely horrendous Denver defenses in his tenure as starter.

Trent Edwards Bills QB

I truly believe Trent Edwards is and will be a really good quarterback, and I’d honestly be content if the Bills kept him (especially with Brian Galliford’s projections + TO). But the Bills are in the unique position of having a skill-rich offense (Marshawn, Evans, Reed, Steve Johnson, TO, and whichever tight end the Bills draft) and assets desirable to the Broncos, namely a quality starter in Trent Edwards and draft picks.

What it ultimately comes down to is ceiling:

Trent Edwards is a talented, smart quarterback with an adequate arm who is injury prone. Best comparison: Chad Pennington. A very good quarterback, and you can win with him.

Jay Cutler Broncos QB

Jay Cutler is constantly compared to Brett Favre, but a more apt comparison (and what sends Bills fans into a tizzy) is Jim Kelly. A big, smart QB, rocket arm, and attitude. I think Cutler has gotten a bad rap in this whole scenario, as both Cutler and the Broncos have behaved, well, oddly in their falling out. But remember that screaming match Cutler got into with Philip Rivers and the entire San Diego bench? And then the fact that he f@cking won?

That’s badass like Jimbo. Which is why the Bills should probably consider it.

Jim Kelly Buffalo Bills QB Great

(PS, I know Mendola already did the Jimbo-Jay comparison. He is quite awesome and dashing.)

We Won! by pinkjerseyssuck

Buffalo will be the 2010-2011host to the IIHF World Under-20 Championship. Take that Grand Forks! HA!

And like I said before, no need to thank me for convincing them to have it here. 

Want to help the region make some money? Volunteer here: http://www.buffaloworldjuniors.com/volunteer.asp

Rodney Dangerfield’s Grave Reacts to the John McCargo Trade Veto by noaccount


John McCargo? More like John McCan’tgo!
McCargo? McCan’t get rid of him!
McCargo? McWent too early in the 2006 NFL draft!
After failing his physical, McCargo was so depressed he was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor. They sent a priest up to talk to him. The priest said, “On your mark…”
John McCargo is so out of shape, Warren Sapp hangs out with him to look fit.
John McCargo is so fat, when he puts on his underwear the Fruit of the Loom guys start laughing.
Bill Polian told McCargo that the Colts wanted to stiffen up against the run. John asked the team doctor for a prescription to Viagra.
During the physical McCargo said, “Doc, every morning when I break down my play on film I feel like barfing. What’s wrong?” The doc said “I don’t know but your eyesight is perfect.”
John McCargo’s back is so bad, he’s applying for work in a bell tower.
The doctor told John he had a herniated disc in his back. John said he wanted a second opinion. The doctor said, “Okay, you’re ugly too.”
The biggest problem with John McCargo’s back is that it’s attached to John McCargo.