Dukes of Awesome

Remember that time you ran into your ex? Yeah, like that. by errantremark
November 9, 2009, 5:07 pm
Filed under: Bills Obsession, bitterness, linking it up, that was random

Hey….yeah…long time….

Oh, I’m good…good…how are you? Oh, jinx! haha, no you go first…

Oh, not so good, huh? Oh, I’m sorry. Oh, I see you got a new man in your life. Is he nice?


Oh, he is nice? Wow, that’s kind of surprising actually. Why? Oh, well, you know how those jock-y receiver-y types are – you never know when they’re gonna blow!


Ow, geez, sorry, sore subject. So, have you been going out long? No? Well, if he’s so nice, I’m sure you’re ready to move on to the next level. Why are you making that face….no? Oh, it’s just a rebound fling, is that what you’re saying? 😉

No, I don’t think you want me back. I mean, why would you? I was only devoted to you for, what, 25 years. No, I’m not being a smart ass.

Hah! It’ll take more than a muscle-bound boy toy to make me jealous. You like me for my personality, remember?

So you have kids yet?


OW! Okay, okay, sore subject. Well look, I can’t say I’m ready to make a big play, but, you know, if you ever want to talk – yeah – oh, yeah, we should definitely do coffee sometime. Soon.


Okay, well, can I get your number? Yeah…I got a new phone. Okay, yeah, I’ll facebook you.

Wait, seriously, can I get your number? No? Arrrgh. Well, at least we’ll always have the rink…


The NY Times does not believe in the K-Gun by errantremark

Tangential sports reporters at the New York Times are skeptical that Turk Schonert’s “spread the ball around” philosophy will work with the Bills.

The same indignant comment could be made about the idea of finding ways to spread the ball around more, and my scouting eye wondered why Schonert would do this.

It’s odd that any sports reporter would question this philosophy, because just about every team that has won the Super Bowl recently has relied not on one particular offensive superstar to carry a team, but complete distribution of the ball, regardless of whether said team has one or more stars.

Check it:

Since 2000, every team that has won the Super Bowl has had their top three receivers separated by less than 400 yards, and their top two usually within 200 yards of each other, with notables like the 1999 St. Louis Rams (3 receivers within 300 yards of each other) and the 2006 Indianapolis Colts (top two receivers within 50 yards) hallmarked by extraordinary offense distribution. By comparison, teams that got close but lost (2003-4 Carolina Panthers, 2004-5 Philadelphia Eagles) had individual stars (Steve Smith, Terrell Owens, respectively) that were separated by 500+ yards from their second best receiver.

It’s not rocket science. The more players contributing to an offense, the more likely a team will be successful. The early ’90s Bills had Kelly, Reed, Thomas, Lofton, Metzelaars, Beebe and more contributing significant offensive numbers. Good teams have several good players getting good stats.

An individual superstar who you force the ball to can win you games, but to win it all, you gotta distribute the rock. If the Bills can successfully do so (and replacing Rock Hands Royal with a fast, young tight end) should lead to a successful year for the Bills.

The Bills’ Linebacking Corp Becoming the All-Name Team by errantremark
May 12, 2009, 11:08 am
Filed under: Bills Obsession

Since the Bills need a linebacker, it has been odd they have remained quiet on the free agent front for so long, and conspicuously did not draft an LB last month.

But Tim Graham tipped the world that the Bills are hosting a new FA linebacker with potential for the most polysyllabic jersey-stretching potential since London Fletcher-Baker added a hyphen and occupation to his name.

They’re hosting Pisa Tinoisamoa this week, the former Rams standout and all-time vowel holder.

Should the Bills sign this cat, they get a guy that, oddly enough, is the same kind of player Fletcher-Baker was, and one that would seriously fill gaps in the current LB corp. Tinoisamoa is a tackling machine, like F-B, and though undersized, was consistently effective and would shore up the weak side, where the Bills currently have the overmatched and under-spelled Keith Ellison.

Thus, I implore 289 to design a new fab four shirt with the Bills linebacking corp:



Corto& (or Costanzo& or DiGiorgio& but not Keith& cuz it’s boring)


Donte Whitner might be the fan-friendliest Buffalo Bill ever. by errantremark

This just in from Facebook:

Donte Whitner is about to get another cell phone and call it the Fan Phone…as soon as I get it I’ll post the phone number on here…wont answer all the time but you guys can text and call me!!!! COOL?

Whitner, who really is active on Facebook, posted that today, and I’m hyper excited. This is how a star on a team really connects with his fans. I fully expect he’s going to get inundated with texts and calls and messages with little time to return them, but the effort is remarkable.

Whitner – our first current Duke of Awesome – is showing exactly how a player recovers his image after an unfortunate mistake.

Though realwiley asks: “although is he REALLY prepared to meet the fans? Things could get ugly if the team slides.”

I’d tend to agree, but Bills fans, for all their drunken hijinks, are incredibly loyal to their team:

UPDATE: Just to show he’s a good sport, this should be Donte’s voicemail message:


Return of the K-Gun? by errantremark

Tim Graham has a post today that should set any Bills fan who remembers the Super Bowl years shaking with excitement.

He forecasts the return of the no-huddle offense to Buffalo.

The Bills have dangerous receivers Terrell Owens, Lee Evans and Josh Reed, versatile running backs Marshawn Lynch, Fred Jackson and Dominic Rhodes and quarterback Trent Edwards, who they believe can make quick decisions at the line of scrimmage.

“The no-huddle lends itself to guys that are big-play guys,” Wyche said, “because if you get a defense that’s just a little fatigued, just a little off their first-step quickness, and you get the explosive guys, they can hit the home run.”

Wyche, of course, is Sam Wyche – the coach who installed the offense with the Boomer Esiason Bengals, who inspired the Kelly-years Bills to do the same.

With a glut of skill players and what looks like a potentially reborn offensive line (Hangartner roughly equals Hull?), it is entirely possible. The one potential weak link? QB Trent Edwards.

But the no-huddle offense plays directly into Edwards’ strengths – he’s a fast decision maker, a quick release, and he’s smart. In fact, when the Bills opened last year 4-0, the hallmarks of the offense – quick strike throws, up-tempo rushing – were incredibly similar to a no-huddle offense, just run with huddles. Imagine that offense with more playmakers and less time for the defense to recover.

I’m excited just thinking about it.

Need more convincing? Remember when the K-gun established itself:

The Ralph looks pretty sweet in Madden 10 for Wii by errantremark

As far as I know, the Dukes are not at all interested in playing Madden. Especially not on Wii (though I have one and it’s awesome for the most part, just not, you know, Madden). When I play video games, I want to do something that can’t be done in real life, and the Madden games got to the point where it was more simulation than fun – RBI Baseball, NBA Jam and TECMO Bowl were the sports game apex for me.

But for Madden 10, EA Sports is taking a slightly less realistic style in the Wii version – instead of being hyper realistic like on the PS3 or Xbox 360 versions, the less powerful Wii version will have a more cartoonish, stylized look.

To be perfectly honest, I could care less, though one image struck me – wouldn’t this stampeding buffalo scoreboard look BONKERS good at the Ralph?



Better Know A Draft Pick: Cary Harris by errantremark
April 29, 2009, 4:08 pm
Filed under: Bills Obsession, Buffalo Bills, Defence Mechanisms, draft picks, Rookies

Back when we were posting regularly, the Dukes profiled each some of the Bills 2008 draft picks. So we’re gonna give it another go. Up first: Cary Harris.

Cary Harris

cary harris

Position: CB

Height: 6’0″

Weight: 180

College: USC

Hometown: Pacoima, CA

Why he’s awesome: Projected to go as early as the third round, the Cary Harris pick follows the ultimate fantasy draft rules: pick good players from good teams. And for a slight guy, he’s known as a big hitter with excellent coverage skills.

Why we like him: For a guy with a rep for poor ball skills, he’s come up in big moments for the Trojans, including that above pick in the Rose Bowl this year.

Why we don’t: He’s as durable as a rose petal and held together by strings. He’s missed time for a dislocated shoulder, ankle injuries, had a bad hamstring at the combine (which slowed him to a 4.57 40-time) and had arthroscopic surgery in both ankles prior to the 2008 season.

Tidbit about Pacoima, CA: Oft-battered in his movies Leonardo DiCaprio, tragically dead before his time Ritchie Valens, oft-injured outfielder Gary Matthews Jr. are all from Pacoima. As are the founders of passing fad Juicy Couture, which relates somehow.

Videos that should get you pumped about Harris, provided he holds up: