Dukes of Awesome

F*CK TORONTO (title edited due to bruised egos of anonymous) by realwiley
August 12, 2008, 12:00 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , ,
Its true. (Fuck the Flyers though, too, guy).

It's true. (Fuck the Flyers though, too, guy).

One of the more peculiar things I hear Bills fans saying these days, when it comes to the potential relocation of our beloved team, is that Los Angeles is the worst case scenario, and Toronto wouldn’t be the end of the world. Many people think that, while the Bills absolutely need to stay in Buffalo, if a dreaded move does happen, at least Toronto wouldn’t be that bad. “Well, at least they’d be close by,” they say.



I have two reasons why I oppose a Bills move to Toronto even MORE than one to Los Angeles. The first reason, you’ve probably heard. But read on for the second reason, as I don’t think enough people realize it.

Firstly, I just don’t think there’s any sports osmosis between Buffalo and Toronto. No relatability. Toronto may be close, but it’s a different country, and really, a different world. I just don’t see a dedicated Buffalo fan base for a Toronto NFL team, even if it did just move there from Orchard Park. I mean, we don’t have an NBA team, but how many Raptors fans do you know in Buffalo? We have no MLB team, but I can count the Blue Jays fans I know on one hand. It just doesn’t work. There’s just a big cultural divide, and frankly, we all hate Torontonians, and probably vice-versa. Can you fucking imagine those smug hosers coming down for Sabres-Leafs games and throwing it in our faces that they have our football team? We’d be lucky if there were only a couple homicides in the arena, and if someone didn’t bomb the Peace Bridge. Buffalo and Toronto uniting behind one team? My ass. Also, Toronto would corporatize the Bills to death. Have you ever been to a Leafs game? They literally serve wine and cheese. The tickets are all bought by big Toronto companies. The same thing would happen to their football team. If you’re picturing a big, raucous Ralph with easy tickets a massive tailgate, just relocated an hour or so up the QEW, you’re dreaming. Plus they’d change the name.

But you’ve probably heard that. Here’s the REALLY IMPORTANT reason the Bills can’t move to Toronto:

Right now, the conventional wisdom in town is that we should all be hoping one of the NFL’s troubled teams – in Jacksonville, Minnesota, San Diego, etc – move to Los Angeles before Ralph kicks it, so that at least we’d be left only with the allegedly better option of Toronto. But suppose for a moment that doesn’t happen, and the Bills are bought and packed out to Los Angeles. Yes, we’d have to go through the unimaginably traumatic scenario of the Buffalo Bills actually packing up vans, dumping their jerseys and helmets in the trash, and getting on a plane for California, never to return. The whole city would collectively sob for weeks. But – those other troubled teams would still be looking for homes. Just as Cleveland did, we could capitalize on the nationwide sympathy that poor Buffalo had their Bills ripped from them, and make a serious bid if and when another struggling team came up for sale. If we can get a great ownership group together, we could also offer an already built stadium, proven fan base, etc. I’m not saying it would be easy, but we would have a fighting chance of restoring the NFL to Buffalo.

But that ONLY works if the Bills are in Los Angeles. If the Bills move to Tornoto, there is absolutely, positively zero chance the NFL ever approves another team for Buffalo. Zip, zilch, nadda, no way. That’s a huge market overlap.

If the Bills move to Toronto, the city of Buffalo can forever kiss the NFL goodbye. With the team in Los Angeles, we live to fight another day. I’ll take that chance over vying for the Brie-Merlot season ticket combo up north.

6 Comments so far
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I hadn’t though about that idea at all and I have, at least I imagined, thought of every scenario of the Bills leaving.

I don’t know if the Bills moving to L.A. would work out quite that way. I would think that the NFL would know that a franchise in Toronto is more viable than one in Buffalo and they would hope that Bills fans would take solace in the Toronto team.

Which brings us right back to the Toronto Bills.

I hate this.

Comment by tgetman

True. I mean, I’m not saying the LA scenario would work out like this for sure, or even be easy. But we’d have a real shot.

We could at least battle Toronto for the team, and I think we have a lot running in our favor there. Worst case the team does end up in Toronto, which is right back where we started anyhow.

Comment by realwiley

Well, if a team ends up in LA you can pretty much count on them leaving in 10 years or less anyway. Maybe Buffalo will be attractive then.

Though cougars rarely age gracefully.

Comment by errantremark

classy title

Comment by anon

see, now you sound classier. f- toronto.

Comment by anon

LOL NO WAY!!! i just typed in fuck toronto and this came upo LOL

Comment by Sakeroth

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