November 9, 2009, 5:58 pm
Filed under: Buffalo Sabres
, draft picks
, that was random
| Tags: Derek & Tyler are bros from different hos
, Henrik Tallinder
, JUST KIDDING
, No Seriously we love the sabres
, Tyler Myers is GIANT
, we love <3 Derek Roy
Henrik: The embryo did split in two, but…it didn’t split equally. All the purity and strength went into Tyler.
Derek: All the crap that was left over…
Henrik: Went into what you see in the mirror every morning.
Derek: Whoa. You telling me I’m the crap?
Tyler: This is not true.
Derek: You’re telling me that I am the leftover crap? I’m no good?
Tyler: He’s wrong.
Henrik: Look at him.
Derek: Are you saying that I’m a side effect?
Henrik: You haven’t got the brain power to understand this… but Yes.
(in case you’re too young to get this: source)
Remember that time you ran into your ex? Yeah, like that.
Oh, I’m good…good…how are you? Oh, jinx! haha, no you go first…
Oh, not so good, huh? Oh, I’m sorry. Oh, I see you got a new man in your life. Is he nice?
Oh, he is nice? Wow, that’s kind of surprising actually. Why? Oh, well, you know how those jock-y receiver-y types are – you never know when they’re gonna blow!
Ow, geez, sorry, sore subject. So, have you been going out long? No? Well, if he’s so nice, I’m sure you’re ready to move on to the next level. Why are you making that face….no? Oh, it’s just a rebound fling, is that what you’re saying? 😉
No, I don’t think you want me back. I mean, why would you? I was only devoted to you for, what, 25 years. No, I’m not being a smart ass.
Hah! It’ll take more than a muscle-bound boy toy to make me jealous. You like me for my personality, remember?
So you have kids yet?
OW! Okay, okay, sore subject. Well look, I can’t say I’m ready to make a big play, but, you know, if you ever want to talk – yeah – oh, yeah, we should definitely do coffee sometime. Soon.
Okay, well, can I get your number? Yeah…I got a new phone. Okay, yeah, I’ll facebook you.
Wait, seriously, can I get your number? No? Arrrgh. Well, at least we’ll always have the rink…
A little time to vent.
Too many things this week have made me say, “REALLY?!?”, so here’s a short list.
Really? 33 degrees? If my squash plants die it’s gonne get ugly ’round here.
REALLY? A key to the city? Impressively, I am more embarrassed by this move than any other Byron has made thus far. My favorite comment so far? – We’ve probably only got a few hours, then, until T.O. claims the key has some sort of secret collusion with another lock.
Really. $13,000 a day is a LOT. As much as I hate the whole, run away and cry about it thing, Golisano is as close to “I can’t blame him” as I’ve ever gotten. So as long as he leaves the Sabres here, I’m not going to complain.
REEEALLY? It’s okay to physically beat activists over the head with signs now (literally)? Take a note from Ghandi, you crazy West Senecans!
The NY Times does not believe in the K-Gun
Tangential sports reporters at the New York Times are skeptical that Turk Schonert’s “spread the ball around” philosophy will work with the Bills.
The same indignant comment could be made about the idea of finding ways to spread the ball around more, and my scouting eye wondered why Schonert would do this.
It’s odd that any sports reporter would question this philosophy, because just about every team that has won the Super Bowl recently has relied not on one particular offensive superstar to carry a team, but complete distribution of the ball, regardless of whether said team has one or more stars.
Since 2000, every team that has won the Super Bowl has had their top three receivers separated by less than 400 yards, and their top two usually within 200 yards of each other, with notables like the 1999 St. Louis Rams (3 receivers within 300 yards of each other) and the 2006 Indianapolis Colts (top two receivers within 50 yards) hallmarked by extraordinary offense distribution. By comparison, teams that got close but lost (2003-4 Carolina Panthers, 2004-5 Philadelphia Eagles) had individual stars (Steve Smith, Terrell Owens, respectively) that were separated by 500+ yards from their second best receiver.
It’s not rocket science. The more players contributing to an offense, the more likely a team will be successful. The early ’90s Bills had Kelly, Reed, Thomas, Lofton, Metzelaars, Beebe and more contributing significant offensive numbers. Good teams have several good players getting good stats.
An individual superstar who you force the ball to can win you games, but to win it all, you gotta distribute the rock. If the Bills can successfully do so (and replacing Rock Hands Royal with a fast, young tight end) should lead to a successful year for the Bills.
The Bills’ Linebacking Corp Becoming the All-Name Team
Since the Bills need a linebacker, it has been odd they have remained quiet on the free agent front for so long, and conspicuously did not draft an LB last month.
But Tim Graham tipped the world that the Bills are hosting a new FA linebacker with potential for the most polysyllabic jersey-stretching potential since London Fletcher-Baker added a hyphen and occupation to his name.
They’re hosting Pisa Tinoisamoa this week, the former Rams standout and all-time vowel holder.
Should the Bills sign this cat, they get a guy that, oddly enough, is the same kind of player Fletcher-Baker was, and one that would seriously fill gaps in the current LB corp. Tinoisamoa is a tackling machine, like F-B, and though undersized, was consistently effective and would shore up the weak side, where the Bills currently have the overmatched and under-spelled Keith Ellison.
Thus, I implore 289 to design a new fab four shirt with the Bills linebacking corp:
Corto& (or Costanzo& or DiGiorgio& but not Keith& cuz it’s boring)
Dukes of Awesome, Esq.
Just a quick post to congratulate our resident female sports blogger, who is now our resident LAWYER blogger, which makes her far and away the most accomplished Duke of Awesome.
Congrats, pinkjerseyssuck, on passing the bar! Donte Whitner is now going to call you.