Dukes of Awesome

The Bills kick-off their season at the Ralph September 7 against the Seahawks at 1 pm. That is approximately 2,832 hours and 19 minutes as of this very moment (May 12, 12:39 pm), but who’s counting? So even though there’s NBA playoffs, NHL Playoffs, Baseball (I’ve adopted the Marlins), to bide my time, it’s all a charade until that sweet, sweet September Sunday, Labbatt Blue buzz kicking in, deboarding the bus and heading into the stadium. God, it will be beautiful.

Until then, we’re getting our football fix with some nerdy self-psychoanalysis - think of these posts as Rorschach tests for the football junkie.

There have been some great sports names over the years, from God Shammgod and Carmelo Anthony to Saku Koivu and Mario Lemieux. Sports names are a cunning linguist’s dream of multicultural blending and auditory fun.

But while hockey, basketball and even baseball have their All-Star names, they can’t touch the NFL in new and innovative personal nomenclature.

Case in point: Antwaun Molden.

In a league of D’Brickashaw’s, Terrell (both TERR-ell and terr-ELL), Champ and Boss, no name captures NFL name conventions like Molden.

Say his name out loud: it immediately calls to mind myriad other NFL players while keeping it’s own unique style.

What follows is a free association of every NFL player Mr. Molden’s name recalls from both recent and ancient NFL history.

Antowain Smith, Eric Moulds, Antwaan Randle-El, Adarius Bowman, Anquan Boldin, Juran Bolden, Dre’ Bly……

Non football: Antawn Jamison….well, any version of the Antwan/Antoine spelling in DC.

Annnnd that’s as far as I got right now - leave more in the comments.